One thing that’s been the most transformational to all of my relationships has been developing my sense of worthiness. Like many people, I did not have the best nurturance for developing this from a young age. In fact, as my parents were religious missionaries, I was taught that I was born a sinner and constantly needed to try my best to maybe, possibly, someday be found “passable”. But best not to get too cocky or slack off at all. Better not to delude myself that I was going to be celebrated and cherished, sailing into acceptance with flying colors.
So the journey to self-love and acceptance, particularly to a healthy relationship to spirituality, was longer for me perhaps, than some others. I’ve mentioned Hafiz as one of my favorite mystical poets. In, You Better Start Kissing Me, I can relate to coming to “God’s door” with a “begging bowl” from that orientation of unworthiness. Fortunately, I’ve experienced a major shift since then. This poem goes like this:
Throw away all your begging bowls at God’s door
For I have heard the Beloved prefers sweet threatening shouts
Something on the order of:
“Hey, Beloved, My heart is a raging volcano of love for you!
You better start kissing me — or else!”
Experiencing the feeling of worthiness creates many shifts, of course. But that feeling of being loved, adored and celebrated (by yourself first of course) with a birthright of peace and abundance is priceless, and well worth the effort of letting go of whatever may be blocking you from it.